When Spirit Finds You in The Middle of Chaos

Today I preformed the final rites for a bird.

I didn’t even see the bird at first.

It was my kids who pointed it out.
“Mommy, there’s a dead bird over there.”
But I was moving... trying to juggle the day, tend to the babies, pack up the car, hold everything together.
I heard them, but I didn’t respond. Not fully.

It wasn’t until I got everybody settled. Well, as settled as kids crying and shifting energy can be, that the thought returned.
“The bird.”
So I got out the car, walked across garden, and there it was.

A blue jay.
Still. Beautiful. Whole.
No signs of violence or struggle. Just… gone.

And I didn’t hesitate.

I found my lil garden tool not even a proper shovel... dug a space in the dirt.
Used a plastic bag to gently pick it up.
And as I did, something moved through me.

My mouth tightened.
My jaw flinched.
It wasn’t fear.
It wasn’t disgust.
It was something spiritual.
Like energy being pulled or pushed through me, and my body catching the signal.

Still, I picked it up.
Laid it in the earth.
Covered it with soil.
Placed a stone on top.

And I said a prayer.
Not rehearsed.
Not recited.
Just spoken from wherever Spirit sits in me:

“May your journey back to Orun be sweet.
May it be met with grace.
May it be met with love.
May you be greeted by everything that ever brought you joy.”

Then I walked away.

It wasn’t planned.
It wasn’t ceremonial.
But it was sacred.

I didn’t feel like a priestess or a healer or a holy woman.
I felt like a tired mama trying not to curse the whole day out.
And still, Spirit called on me.

That’s the message, I think.

You’ll never fully feel “ready” to do what you were called to do.
It won’t always happen when your spirit is clear or your mind is quiet.
Sometimes, it comes in the chaos. In the in-between. In the “I’m just trying to make it through this damn day” kind of moments.

But when you carry medicine, you move anyway.
When you walk with purpose, you don’t wait to be perfect.
You just respond.

This wasn’t about a blue jay.
Not really.
It was about the reminder.

That the sacred finds you.
Even in your stress.
Even in your sweat.
Even when you forget..

Spirit remembers.